I Miss Mum
by Susan Nalugwa Kiguli, (from Uganda) writing in Leeds, England
I miss our mother
That small crease between her eyebrows
And her deep knowing eyes.
I sit here wondering whether
She still smiles and lifts
Her upper lip slightly
As if to say this happiness
Is for us all no reason to
Exaggerate it.
I miss our mother
And keep wondering
If she continues to look shorter -
You know the last time
I stood next to her -
I towered over her
Like she did when we were children
And she was the most beautiful woman
We had ever seen.
I miss our mother
And the way her eyes light up
When you appear slowly in her doorway.
I miss the half wave as if saying
“Don’t go – I mean go if you must.”
I miss our mother
And the way she puts her hands together
When her mind is made up
And that distinct yet quiet sigh
As if saying
“Your eyes will sharpen
And your mother will mellow!”
I miss our mother
The jokes, arguments and laughter.
I miss the arguments
Because I never win and
I never hope to win.
I miss that gentle woman
And her lovely soft laughter
And that voice as if laughter made house
In her mouth
As if velvetiness made home
In her voicebox.
I miss our mother
The way she turns steadily
And asks “Ate ki Mukwano?”
As I friendship is all
She ever wishes for from us.
I love our mother
When she half closes her eyes to say no
When she watches her feet to mean
“There is no need for foolishness.”
When she lifts her eyes
with those flashes of light to say well done
And thank you.
When her eyes fill with tears in grateful prayer.
I love our mother
And I am glad I can write it in Luganda and English.
Today I did it in English
Because when our eyes meet
They speak Luganda.
PS. “Ate ki mukwano” means what is it again my friend?
